Christmas time, mistletoe and bleurgh!

Christmas is fast approaching isn’t it?  Children are finishing school for the year.  Adults are possibly taking a break from work.  For many it is a time of fun, relaxation and celebration but equally for many, Christmas is a difficult time.  How about you?  Are you facing Christmas without someone you love?  Are you in an unhappy relationship?  Does the thought of spending time with family put the spotlight on painful family dynamics?  Perhaps money is a concern?  Christmas can be expensive and place extra pressure on an already stretched budget.  Perhaps you’ve been feeling lonely and this time of year is heightening that feeling?  Maybe you’ve been thinking about coming to counselling but want to get Christmas out of the way first.  If so, it could be a tough period for you as you wait until the timing is better.

So what can you do in the meantime?  I wonder how you feel about giving yourself permission not to feel OK?  It perhaps goes against the grain, especially if you are used to masking your true feelings or trying hard to be upbeat for the sake of others.  Sometimes just accepting where you find yourself can be helpful.  Often there are no easy answers, but having compassion for yourself can help reduce the internal pressure.  Even if you are committed to making Christmas great for everyone despite how you feel, you have given yourself the go-ahead to not feel OK. You are being true to yourself.

Perhaps that’s enough?  If it isn’t though, could you tell one person how you’re feeling?  It’s not always easy to put our needs at the forefront, but how would it be to risk asking someone to listen to you without offering any advice – could you ask for this?  If you don’t feel in a position to talk to someone, how about journalling – not necessarily documenting what you’ve been doing, but instead getting in touch with and writing about how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking?  It may help you gain some clarity.

Is there something you would like?  A day under the duvet, some quiet time or a walk in nature perhaps?  It doesn’t really matter what it is.  What I’m wondering is whether it is possible for you to carve out a little ‘me’ time to just allow you to be?  It’s not easy with competing pressures, but giving yourself something, even a little something, can be like offering yourself the same level of care you offer others; treating yourself as equally important.

I wish you well during the holiday period.  If you do find in the New Year you’d like to make an appointment to come and see me, please give me a call on 07578 839779 or email me at donnagibson@thebridgecounsellingservice.co.uk and I’ll be glad to book you in.